2024: An Election for the Tidy Bowl Man

Biden, Trump, RFK Jr. and Cornel West are like four turds swimming around a toilet. The only question for 2024 is: which one don’t you flush? It seems that the only person in America capable of making that decision is the Tidy Bowl Man; the fictitious captain of SS Turd from the 1970s TV commercials:

Cornel West

Cornel West is mostly known for being the frizzy haired academic who was associated with Princeton but spent most of his time shucking and jiving with Bill Maher. His policies are far left, and he likes to dispense the nickname “brother” to every third person like the way people say “have a blessed day” when you buy cheese at the grocery. No, this gapped toothed fool will never win an election in the United States outside of perhaps Oakland, California or Dearborn, Michigan, but he serves as an effective tool that Trump supporters can use to siphon off votes from Joe Biden.

RFK Jr

Former Heroin Addict, anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist and compulsive liar theorist RFK Jr. proves that Sirhan Sirhan was right about the Kennedy’s; but he just picked the wrong Kennedy. Why so much hate for the man whose voice is so shattered from years of Heroin abuse that he now sounds like Katherine Hepburn trying to spelunk? Well, let’s say here are a few points from Stop Antisemitism including association with Louis Farrakhan, claiming COVID spares Jews, claiming COVID vaccines are worse than what happened to Anne Frank etc. This is the tip of the iceberg for a guy who has been arrested for Heroin possession and has more “lust demons” than Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh at a Strip Club.

Donald Trump

The only question is whether he dies of natural causes or does he die of something more enjoyable to watch? Before voting for him, assuming he isn’t dead or in jail by then (fingers crossed for either death or jail for Trump), you’re best bet is self immolation like the loser Marine for Palestine:

Joe Biden

Jesus fucking Christ. Please help. Can he even tie on his shoes? This is the person the media is saying is going to help save the United States? And when he trips and falls or gets a UTI and can’t be President any longer, we get Kamala Hamas; mostly known for combating women’s right to choose what they do with their bodies by banning Backpage and fighting cannabis legalization in California. Would you trust her with nuclear weapons when she doesn’t trust you with your own body?

So Who has the 2024 Vote for the Security Theater:

If we were to ask the Tidy Bowl given these 4 choices, he would probably say wait for Democracy to flush out these 4 turds and wait. There must be better choices in the United States, but then again, in a nation that thinks pancake on stick is a vegetable, maybe not?